she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
