I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
