theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
they're like a gay fantastic four
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
