Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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