i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
