Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
