so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
no, he came in my armpit
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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