Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
