using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
