Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
