Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
