All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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