Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
