I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just had sex on a roof
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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