in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
