to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
