There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
