you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
