So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
