Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
