I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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