There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
