I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
