Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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