Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
