Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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