She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
