So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
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