So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
