well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
