Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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