Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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