She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
