Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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