Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
