I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
