I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
