You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
