did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
