You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Just high enough for therapy.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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