if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
