fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just want to make out with him forever
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
