I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
