So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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