can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
