when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
