I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
