Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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