No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
