I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
